( Something I wrote a couple of years ago. )My past self made my present self cry. All right. Okay. Where is my sword?
And I know I'm still not being overly cheerful about it, but that's okay for today. I don't have a problem reapplying my positive face most of the time, but it's been so long and I am tired and discouraged and I don't know where to go from here. And I know I won't kill myself, and I will go out there again, and I will do my best like I've been doing since the beginning. But I've learned, though experience, that this does not guarantee success, or, like ... has not yet. But one day. It's a painfully slow process and oh God, it's been a long time.