InsaneJournal

Hi. So. This may almost count as real update on my life.

I read this line a year or so ago and it really struck me. "There are two kinds of secrets: the ones that aren’t actually secrets because you tell people, and the ones you try very hard to forget about, and you can forget almost anything if you try hard enough." I have both kinds (I guess everybody does). Of the second variety, one is that I am an addict. No, there will be no details.

So two weeks ago I said, like, "God, I know you can hear me, and if you will help me with this, I promise to go cold turkey and never do it again." About six days later I caved and ... yeah. But in doing so I had a big realisation about what exactly caused it, and how I could work around that, and I had more hope.

About four days after that I caved again and I said, "God, I really appreciate your effort and I'm really sorry but I just don't think I can fight this right now and I think we should dissolve this agreement."

Yesterday the tools of my trade just ... broke. That's both really funny and kind of terrifying. But mostly funny.